Title: Hotter (Part Four)
Author: nishi_shinji
Universe: Final Fantasy
Characters: Sephiroth/Zack
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Sadly, they aren't mine.
Other Parts: Juxtaverse Master List

Summary: "I know you think this is-- I don't know, hero worship or something, but it's not. I've never-- you know, I don't have a lot of experience with this kind of thing but, well-- look, I know I care about you a lot, and it's not 'cause you're Sephiroth-- well, I mean, it is, but the Sephiroth I care about is the Sephiroth I know, not the guy whose picture is on posters and stuff. I mean, you are on posters, but-- damn it--"

Author's Notes: Beta'ed by ldybastet and ships_harry. I apologize for taking so long to get this written and posted.


By the time Zack finally worked up the nerve to follow through with his plan, it was almost curfew. Since he was already closer to Sephiroth's quarters than the barracks, he decided he didn't have much choice in the matter anyway, unless he wanted to risk getting caught sneaking back to his room.

The halls of the building that housed the First Class apartments were brightly lit and mostly deserted, and Zack winced every time his footsteps echoed off the walls. After a few minutes of hesitating, turning to leave, then turning back again, Zack jabbed at the control panel beside Sephiroth's door and waited. Instead of the usual call for him to enter, he was greeted with silence. Just when he was about to give up and leave, curfew be damned, the door opened with a quiet hiss.

Sephiroth stared out at him, looking sleepy and tousled.

"Sorry, I didn't think you'd be sleeping," Zack mumbled as all of his earlier bravado immediately gave way to stomach-churning anxiety.

Sephiroth crossed his arms over his chest and continued to stare, calm and expressionless.

"Uhm, I'm sorry about earlier," Zack muttered, looking away to examine the wall beside the other man's head.

To his surprise, Sephiroth nodded and said, "Apology accepted."

"Oh, you-- thanks." Zack brightened a bit, but his relief faded when Sephiroth turned away. Before the door could close, Zack lunged forward to wedge his elbow and one leg between it and the doorframe. The metal dug into his arm and he winced when he realized it wasn't going to immediately re-open the way the doors of the lifts did. After a few seconds of struggling, he let out a pained-sounding, "Er, Seph?"

Sephiroth sighed and cast a glance over his shoulder. "You're stuck, aren't you?"

Zack managed a weak smile.

"If it weren't for the fact that you'd keep me up all night with your yowling, I'd leave you there to think about why we don't stick body parts in automatic doors," Sephiroth murmured as he turned and touched the control panel to open the door. "Honestly Fair, do you ever think before you act?"

Zack pulled his arm free and rubbed at his bruised elbow. Even he, as dense as he was, got the hint that Sephiroth wasn't just talking about the door. Finally, after chewing on his bottom lip for a few moments, he asked, "Can I come in? To talk?"

Silence fell and Zack's heartbeat grew faster and heavier with every passing second until Sephiroth sighed again and stepped aside. "You may as well, since you seem determined to cause yourself bodily harm by trying."

"Thanks," Zack muttered, feeling awkward and out of place as he moved past Sephiroth into the tiny living room. Now that he'd actually been invited inside, he couldn't remember any of the things he'd wanted to say, so he settled for standing there and shifting his weight from foot to foot instead.

Unfortunately for him, Sephiroth didn't seem inclined to speak, either. The other man stood in the doorway between the living room and the bedroom, his expression completely devoid of emotion.

"So, uhm," Zack began, hooking his thumbs into the waistband of his trousers and rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. "Like I said, I'm sorry for-- well, you know."

"Yes, you've mentioned that already," Sephiroth replied without inflection.

Zack cringed inwardly. This wasn't exactly how he'd planned for things to go, but he didn't know what else to say. All the heartfelt declarations of affection he'd recited in his head suddenly seemed stupid and too rehearsed to be genuine. But the silence was dragging on, so before he could stop himself, he blurted, "Can I spend the night?"

"We've already discussed this, numerous times." Sephiroth's voice was clipped with obvious annoyance.

"No, no, I didn't mean it like that," Zack replied, waving his hands and then looking away to mutter, "I meant, you know, I just want to sleep next to you if that's okay."

There was another beat of agonizing silence before Sephiroth said, "Come to bed, then."

Zack glanced up, but Sephiroth had already disappeared into the bedroom, and he stared at the empty doorway for a long while before taking a deep breath and following. Of all the times he'd been in the general's private rooms, he'd never been so uncomfortable. Trying to ignore the knot of anxiety in his stomach, he stopped at the foot of the bed to tug his shirt up over his head and rid himself of his trousers while Sephiroth ran through the nightly ritual of winding and setting the alarm clock. Zack decided it might be best to leave his underwear on, given the circumstances, and hesitated before sliding into what had somehow become 'his' side of the bed.

Sephiroth switched off the light and settled in beside him, not touching but close enough that Zack could feel the warmth of his body. It felt strange to be lying there in the dark together without the afterglow to help lull them to sleep, and Zack shifted, wide awake but afraid to speak for fear of being told to leave. After a few more minutes of fidgeting, Sephiroth finally reached over and draped an arm across his stomach.

"Sorry," Zack whispered, taking that as a sign that he was testing the other man's patience.

Sephiroth sighed and mumbled, "Go to sleep, Fair."

But Zack knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep, not with things still so strained between them, so he rolled onto his side to face Sephiroth and whispered, "Why do you use a wind-up alarm clock?"

The faint glow of mako when Sephiroth opened his eyes was oddly comforting, and Zack burrowed a little closer so that their knees were touching. That prompted another quiet sigh, and Sephiroth's arm tightened around Zack's waist to pull him across the sheets until their chests were pressed together.

"Electronic devices tend to break more often than their mechanical counterparts, and are more expensive to repair." Sephiroth sounded very faintly amused by the question.

"Oh," Zack whispered, and then mumbled, "I care about you a lot."

"Where did you develop the habit of leading into important statements with mundane questions?"

Zack was glad the room was dark because he could feel himself blushing. Resisting the urge to cover up his discomfort by cracking a joke, he retorted with, "Do you always follow up important statements with criticism?"

After a brief pause, Sephiroth let out a quiet huff and murmured, "That's fair, I suppose."

"Look," Zack muttered, trying to steer the conversation back to its original purpose, "I know you think this is-- I don't know, hero worship or something, but it's not. I've never-- you know, I don't have a lot of experience with this kind of thing but, well-- look, I know I care about you a lot, and it's not 'cause you're Sephiroth-- well, I mean, it is, but the Sephiroth I care about is the Sephiroth I know, not the guy whose picture is on posters and stuff. I mean, you are on posters, but-- damn it--"

Zack broke off when he realized that Sephiroth was laughing. It was barely audible but unmistakeable, and he was torn between embarrassed indignation and dejected resignation until a hand cupped the side of his face.

"I think if one fills in the blanks between all of your self-interruptions, that was rather..." Sephiroth trailed off and swept his thumb along Zack's cheekbone.

"Look, I'm not saying you should trust me with your life," Zack mumbled, nuzzling his cheek against Sephiroth's palm. "But I'm not a little kid, and I know how I feel, so at least trust me to make my own decisions about what I want."

Sephiroth made a quiet humming sound and asked, "Whom should I thank for this sudden insight?"

Zack snorted quietly and figured since he'd obviously been found out, he might as well own up to having some outside help. "Commander Hewley and I might have talked a little bit."

"And once again, Commander Hewley proves he is both wise and completely incapable of keeping his nose out of other people's business," Sephiroth replied, but he sounded more thoughtful than irritated.

"So, can we try it?" Zack asked, swallowing the anxiety that bubbled up into his throat. "And I don't mean sex-- well no, I mean sex too, but mostly I want to try and make the other parts work. You know, like we're in a real-- uhm--"

"A relationship?" Sephiroth murmured.

Zack blushed again, but this time, it was accompanied by a smile. "Yeah, that. So, can we?"

"And you're sure this is what you want?" Sephiroth asked, brushing his thumb over Zack's lips. "Even knowing that I work long hours and that I'm frequently sent away on missions, and that we'll never have the sort of relationship that will allow us to show affection in public or--"

"I'm not a girl," Zack interrupted with a laugh. "Look, trust me, I've thought about this, okay? I know who you are and what you do, and I have my own stuff to worry about too. I just think, you know, maybe my days might be a little easier if I knew you were out there somewhere, thinking about me the way I think about you."

Instead of replying out loud, Sephiroth kissed him, slow and soft, and Zack could feel the other man's smile against his lips. If he could have gotten away with it, he would have turned the light on so he could see his lover's face, but he settled for memorizing the curve of Sephiroth's mouth with his own. And he would have been content to keep kissing Sephiroth indefinitely until the other man nipped at his bottom lip and pulled away.

"Are you certain this isn't just a clever ploy to trick me into having sex with you?" Sephiroth whispered as he slid a knee between Zack's thighs to twine their legs together.

Zack chuckled. "Why? Would it work if I said yes?"

"Most likely," Sephiroth admitted with a put-upon sigh.

"Then no," Zack replied as he shifted so he could tuck the top of his head beneath Sephiroth's chin. "I still want you to, eventually, but I meant it when I said that all I want is to sleep next to you tonight."

Sephiroth hummed and carded his fingers through Zack's hair. "Well Fair, I never would have taken you for a romantic."

"I think you can probably stop calling me Fair," Zack mumbled against Sephiroth's chest. "Besides, I never would have taken you for one either, which is why it took me so damned long to figure out why you haven't fucked me yet."

"Yes, well," Sephiroth murmured, "that's classified information."

Zack grinned and looped an arm around Sephiroth's waist. "Then I guess I'll need a higher security clearance now, don't you think?"

"Nice try, Fair."