| I finally gave in and decided to start a Sims legacy. A lot of my townies came from a bin of Sims that a friend gave to me, some of which she made and others which she downloaded but can't remember where they came from. So if you spot any of your Sims, or know who the Sims belong to, let me know so I can give credit. WARNING for gay sims, murderous sociopaths, ass-babies, language, and fail. 
This is our founder, Nero. In retrospect, I should have known that naming him after an evil Roman emporer was a bad idea, but I thought hey, what's the worst that could possibly happen? ~sigh~
But first thing's first: stocking the fridge. Nero, being the pimp that he is, knows how important it is to have a couple of bottles of Cristal on hand to help him score with the ladies (or gents). Unfortunately, with his paycheck, he had to settle for Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Nero: ~struts his po' white like it ain't no thang~
And hello, who do we have here?
Unfortunately, their first meeting didn't go so well, mostly because Matteus is kind of a dick.
Matteus: Hahah you suck! I haven't fallen for that one since grade school.
Nero: I think you broke my nose T_T
They chatted for awhile, but it was pretty clear their relationship wasn't going anywhere but down.
Nero: I fucking hate movies!
Matteus: I hate your face! Die, four-eyes!
Nero got one last parting shot in before he left, though.
Nero: LOLOLOLOLOL! There's your grade school, bitch!
Oh Nero, I love you already.
After Nero was finished pwning people's faces at the market, he went home. Since he struck out with Matteus (and didn't have much better luck with the store clerk), he was happy to see that he had a couple people standing outside his house, waiting to welcome him.
Why hello there, Anne. Unfortunately, Nero wanted absolutely nothing to do with her after they shook hands.
Saiyuki also showed up, but Nero decided to make his gender preferences clear pretty much right away.
Saiyuki: It's so nice to finally meet you!
Nero: Hi. I'm gay.
Saiyuki: ...well okay then.
Then he moved on to greet...
Wait, is that who I think it is?
ohfuckno
Remember when I hinted that I probably should have known better than to name my founder after a tyrannical madman?
Yeah. This is why.
Nero: ~stalkstalkstalk~
Light: ~pretends to be oblivious~
There were three other people in the house, but the only person Nero was interested in talking to was Light.
Nero: Come on, say it, just once?
Light: I am justice.
Nero: ~fangirl squeal~
Me: Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!
Nero had a few short conversations with the girls, none of which turned out very well.
Nero: 'Curvy' is just another word for 'fat' you know.
Anne: I. will. fuck. your. shit. up.
And then he went straight back to fangirling Light.
Nero: You know, I've always wanted to help someone take over the world.
Light: Eeeeeeeeexcellent
Light: I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.
Nero: :D :D :D
Me: alkdhflkhskfghsf stop corrupting my founder, Light!
But Nero looked so happy that I decided not to interfere (not that I would have had much luck anyway). Besides, they were actually being kind of-- dare I say it-- cute.
I did make one last-ditch effort to save Nero from Light's clutches, though, by taking him downtown the next day. Once he got there, he promptly changed into his swimsuit for no apparent reason and sat at the bar for four hours.
Bartender: We do have a dress code, Sir.
Nero: I'm dating Kira.
Bartender: ...another bloody mary, Sir? It's on the house.
Downtown was not crawling with teh hot as I'd hoped it would be, though I did spot this guy wandering around. His lips will eventually be bred into this legacy.
At that point, though, Nero was too busy DJ'ing in his Speedos(TM) to notice anyone.
Nero: Rock lobster!
Since Nero had shown zero interest in anyone but Light, I eventually gave up (against my better judgment) and invited Light back over. These two were on each other in minutes.
Seriously, guys? -.-
Shortly afterwards, Light moved in, and any sense of decency Nero may have once had was gone.
Matilda: alkdhflkshdglkhfgkh! Pants, plz!
With all the boinking going on, it was only a matter of time before someone got knocked up.
Me: Grats, Nero!
Nero: Nghfgh I hate my life.
Nero decided to break the baby news over dinner.
Nero: I'm pregnant. Anyway, I was wondering--
Light: AKJFHLDKGHD WAIT, WHAT? O.O
Light: ...
Light: That means more minions. Eeeeeeexcellent... LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
Oh dear god.
The first part of Nero's pregnancy was boring. All he did was sleep, eat, pee, and shower whenever Light started to complain about him stinking. Light stayed by Nero's side pretty much 24/7 when he wasn't at work though, which I thought was kind of sweet, especially for a murderous sociopath.
But just when I thought it was going to be the most boring pregnancy in history, I noticed something strange...
...that is Light. With a pregnant belly.
Nero: So wait, we're both pregnant?
Light: It would seem so, yes.
Nero: Oh. Interesting.
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOO! WHYYYYYY?!? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!?! ~tears hair out~
And thus, the nightmare began.
Surprisingly, both pregnancies were pretty boring. There were a few moments of intense fail, though, like when Nero realized, 'Oh fuck I'm giving birth to the spawn of Satan.'
And a re-enactment of some of Light's previous fail.
Light: ~realizes he's about to be a father and tries to bludgeon himself to death on a toaster pastry~
Nero: This is so pathetic I can't even stand to watch...
(TBC...) |
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nishi_shinji's journal
Didn't Light have a boyfriend already? What happened there? Did Nero kill him or something?